39 weeks!

I had my last ob appointment this morning....How sad! Seriously, I have truly enjoyed being pregnant and going to all of my appointments. Its so amazing to be able to see how much Jackson has grown in the past 10 months and I'm so thankful that I have been given the chance to experience this milestone in our life. Justin went with me this morning for my last time. Let me just add that Justin thought it was no big deal that this was my last appointment. "yes, it is! This could be the last time we ever experience this and this is so special" (That's me getting emotional and Justin thinking I'm weird! :)

Well- here is how it went!
I haven't dilated anymore since last week; even though I would have bet money that I had. I just feel like I have been changing in the past week. I have had some cramps, aches and pains and to not be further along was odd to me, but whatever!

I haven't effaced anymore either....What a surprise. I have been the same since 36 weeks, but again, I thought I would be further.

Jackson hasn't "dropped" yet either. Ugh! He must be mighty comfortable inside my stomach....Little does he know that he is about to enter this world this week!!!!

Yep, that's right! I'm scheduled for a c-section on Thursday, August 5 at 6:30am. Justin and I will arrive at the hospital at 4:30am and I will get situated and by 7:00am Jackson Barr Todd will have entered this world!!!!!!!

What am I feeling??
I must say that this whole pregnancy has been wonderful. No issues, scares, concerns or fears. BUT, after hearing that we are going to have him in less than 72 hours really got me going. I'm a nervous wreck for several reasons:
1. I HATE hospitals and knowing that I will have to be in there for 3 full days makes me nauseous
2. What if everything goes wrong once we get there; I can't think of what could possibly go wrong but what if?
3. What if I'm too big of a baby to get the epidural.....yes, I know that its supposedly doesn't hurt, but I'm a pretty big wimp!
4. I think its natural to wonder what Jackson will look like, if he will be healthy, or if something could be wrong
5. Am I going to be a good mother? Will it come "natural" like everyone says?
6. Will I be able to breastfeed? For some reason this has always worried me, don't know why!

I have all these crazy fears and concerns and they all hit me this morning....Seriously, I haven't thought about being scared for even a second but I'll admit that right now I'm terrified!!!

After we got the news that Thursday was the big date, we headed over to the hospital to get registered, give blood, and sign about 10 consent forms saying that I can't sue them if anything goes wrong! Then the lady said, "see you in a few days", I got in my car and sat in the sweltering heat and soaked it all in.

I'm going to be a mom in 2.5 days! Its truly been the most amazing miracle for the last 10 months. I continue to wonder how my pregnancy could be so perfect and textbook. I continue to pray that Thursday is everything that I think it will be and that everything goes smoothly. I pray that Jackson is healthy and developed. I pray that my recovery is "easy" and that I have no complications. I pray that this is everything Justin and I think it is. And, I pray that we will be all that our parents were to us with Jackson! Hope that you will pray for us to!!!!

My next update will be after he arrives...Until then, I'm just a wife and a good friend; but soon I'll be a wife, friend and mom!!! Wow!